Reconciliation
by dragonwrangler
Summary: Bakura has to decide what it is he truly wants now that he is free of Zork Nechrophades.


Title- Reconciliation

Author- dragonwrangler

Copyright- © July 14, 2006 by dragonwrangler

Disclaimer: This story is a non- commercial work of fiction based on the manga/anime series Yu-Gi-Oh. Original copyright of Yu-Gi-Oh belongs to Kazuki Takahashi. Absolutely no monetary gain has been made with this work and was written for my entertainment and for the entertainment of any who wish to read it.

Rating- PG (some swear words)

Main characters- Bakura and Mahado

Summary- Bakura has to decide what it is he truly wants now that he is free of Zork Nechrophades

Author notes- This story was written as a gift to Seers Atemu and gave me a chance to look into Bakura's character. It is part of my Seto/Atemu ficverse and takes place after the Yu-Gi-Oh/ Yami no Matsuei crossover story "Guardians of Darkness." I got to wondering what Bakura would do once he got a body of his own. laughs I wasn't expecting this.

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Reconciliation

"I believe there is a possibility he will not wake up, my Pharaoh."

The words catch my attention, not so much because of who's speaking as to what is said. Though I have to admit, that damn magician will always have the ability to get my attention- after all, he was the one who killed me and cursed me to this half-life…

…or was it me who did that?

So hard to remember.

I don't hear Pharaoh's reaction to Mahado's comment. Why would I, I don't really care what he thinks; but for some reason I once again find myself listening to the magician's answer and it hits much too close to the truth.

"He cannot die if he is not alive. It may have been why he wanted a body."

Damn it, why are you the one who understands me? I'm not doing this for you!

"But he can't die! Not now!" I hear Ryou protest, and I have to fight the urge to pull myself out of this darkness that I've given myself to, have to fight the urge to start yelling at my former host and shake him until he understands why I'm doing this. However I don't have much difficulty beating that impulse down since I'm already buried in the guilt of all the things I've done to him.

I've hurt you enough Ryou, this should finally bring an end to all that.

Letting myself drift once more, I find I can make the voices arguing around me simply blend into a murmur; let them wash over me as I pull all the memories of all the things that I've done up before my mind's eye and let them guide me deeper into the darkness. Memories of blood and shadows, of lies and deciet, of the screams of my victims as I shredded their souls and sent them into the arms of the Shadow Realms. Memories of Ryou and the things I did to him; placing his soul in a card so I could use him against his friends, slashing his arm open to gain Malik's trust, putting him up against god monsters and psychopaths as I tried to get my hands on that damn Puzzle.

And for all that I have done to him I still have him to thank for this body that will finally give me the one thing that I've truly wished for.

I don't understand why you pulled me back from the darkness when Zork was banished, Ryou. After everything I've done to you, why would you want to save this black soul of mine? Still, I have to thank you for what you've done. You've allowed me to make my own choice for the first time in three millennia, allowed me to remember what life was like without being used by another.

And I will thank you in the only way I can.

By finally bringing an end to this miserable existence of mine.

I'm certainly not afraid to die after all that I've been through- and I've been waiting for this chance for three millennia- but why the hell is it taking so long?

"Maybe because you are not ready yet, Bakura?"

Oh Ra, I am cursed. I have no doubts about that now.

"WHAT IN RA'S NAME DO YOU WANT?" I scream as I find myself once again in that damn nowhere place of the soul. As I spin around to yell some more, the sight of you sitting cross-legged in the mists that seem to indicate where the ground would be- if there was any ground here- throws me off balance and shuts me up for a moment.

And what do you do, magician? You just sit there and wait patiently for me to catch up.

I think I hate that the most about you. I'm sure if Zork hadn't already driven me insane, then that damn patience of yours would have done me in. I've hated it ever since we became adversaries- when you became the holder of the Millennium Ring and guardian of the Royal Tombs and I became the King of Thieves. You can't imagine how effective a weapon that was against me.

And I now I'm in debt to you. Ryou may have given me a second chance but it still took your magic to make this possible, damn it.

"Well?" I finally snarl as I grab my anger and hold it in check long enough to get the words out. "I asked you a question. Are you going to grace me with an answer or just sit there looking smug?"

"I want to help you help yourself, Bakura." you answer quietly.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I ask in annoyance. "I killed you, remember? Why would you of all people want to help me?"

Before you can answer I suddenly realize why you would help me and, surprisingly enough, that knowledge hurts. "Pharaoh ordered you here, didn't he. Damn him! Why can't he just let me die? Or what, he thinks living would be a more appropriate punishment? Well, fuck him! Like I would stick around long enough for him to gloat anyway."

I have to pause to take a breath- and the irony that a spirit has to take a breath is not lost on me- when you have to go and say calmly-

"You did not kill me, I did that myself."

I suddenly remember you purposely stepping into the path of the swinging blades during our duel but point out, "I was the reason you had a chance to commit suicide."

"You were not the reason."

I have to clutch my head in exasperation at that comment. "So now you're going to torture me with riddles? Wonderful! You're just not going to let me die in peace are you!"

"You were already dead when we dueled, Bakura." you state evenly.

What?

I try to remember more of the duel but find I can't. I try to remember what happened before the duel and I can't.

Why can't I remember?

"You died in the desert before you robbed Pharaoh's tomb and came to the Palace." you continue on relentlessly. "It was why you were able to call Diabound. Zork was already in control of your body."

A sigh slips out of you as you add, "And once I sealed what remained of your soul into the Ring, Zork was able to possess your mortal form completely."

Unable to follow the logic of that comment, I have to ask, even though I really don't want to know, "If I was dead then why was my soul still with my body?"

"That was your payment to Zork for immortality."

And then I remember the deal I made to survive. The memory takes over, wiping out the present as it drags me into the past. And I can feel the sun burning my skin and feel the individual grains of sand against my body where I lay on the ground. I can feel the dull pain of the ropes that bind my wrists and hold my hands behind my back. I've lost the feeling of my fingers and it has caused a mild panic to worm its way through me. I'm a thief- I can't survive without my hands. But I suddenly remember why I'm tied up and I start to laugh at the thought.

"You were on your way to the Palace for judgment, fool. As if you were going to survive what they were going to do to you for breaking into the Royal tombs."

I experience once again the exhaustion that hit me, and the dangerous sense of calm thatpushed me into a peaceful dream; the dream of Kul Elna when it was a safe place for a child to run and play. A time before the slaughter that brought the shadows and stained the stones with the blood and souls of my family and friends. Back to the sounds of laughter and my mother playfully teaching me the skills of a thief by using little pieces of the candy she had made; and the proud look on my father's face as I showed him the coins I stole from his purse without him knowing it. A deceptive dream that draws me deeper into the dark; but suddenly I resist.

I remember thinking- I've survive so much- I can't give up now. If I do then those memories will be gone and there will be no one left to remember the Kul Elna that existed before the Millennium Items destroyed it.

I find I don't want it to be remembered in that way. I want the world to know what happened there and make the ones responsible for its destruction pay for what they've done; and I weakly begin to fight the bonds that hold me.

And that was when I stepped into hell.

Or maybe I had gone there long ago for the voice that I heard that day was familiar to me and one I listened to without question. It was as familiar and seductive as the voice of my mother in the dream and I let myself be lulled into a false sense of security.

And when the voice asked for my soul in exchange for the chance to continue to exist and exact my revenge, I gave it away without question.

It wasn't until the deal was sealed that I discovered what Zork meant by continued existence. You cannot kill what is already dead. I was now a puppet for him to control as he wished, a puppet who's sole purpose was to gather up the Millennium Items. And I realize now, that I simply did to my hosts over the millennia what Zork did to me.

And I acted as if I had free will, as if it were possible to escape the reach of a god.

I became as much Zork as Zork had become me.

"You have escaped, Bakura." you say softly into my head.

A blink and I'm back once again in nowhere land glaring down at you. "Shit," I growl without much force, "do you mind staying out of my head? It's bad enough I have to talk to you."

You give me an amused look as you point out, "You don't have to talk to me."

"Shut up." I mutter. I don't realize I've begun to pace until my second turn through the mists and I stop myself from continuing. Which, unfortunately, means I'm facing you once again.

"What do you want?" I finally ask, and I feel disgust at the sound of confusion that has crept into my voice.

Instead of answering, you ask me a question. "Why did you switch places with your host during the duel with Pharaoh on the airship?"

Frowning as I think back to that particular duel, I ask, "How do you know about that? You weren't on the field when that happened."

For a moment, you give me an exasperated look before speaking again. "A part of your soul was already in the Millennium Puzzle; what use was it to save your host? You would have been able to enter the puzzle sooner instead of going through the shadow duel with Marik." I don't answer and a knowing look crosses your face. "Or was it because you knew your host could survive being banished to the Shadow Realms by Marik but not a god monster attack ordered by Pharaoh?"

I try to glare at you, try to pull up the energy to give you a sarcastic remark, but I can't. Have I always been this transparent to you? Have you always been able to see me this clearly when no one else could?

No one else except Ryou, that is.

I'm too tired to answer, too tired and worn down by all the memories and the truth; besides I can see you already know what my answer would be so why should I bother to say anything?

This time, I don't stop myself from pacing. And as I pace I find myself needing to talk. "Pharaoh didn't send you here, did he."

"No." you state patiently.

A simple answer that raises a whole slew of questions in my head.

I really do hate you sometimes, Mahado.

"Why are you here then?" I asked wearily.

An odd look crosses your face and it takes me a moment to recognize it as guilt. Not an expression I remember seeing on you before.

Your eyes shift away from mine before you say evenly, "I should not have sealed your soul into the Ring. I was the one who cursed you to the non- existence that you have lived for the last three millennia. The least I can do now is help you decide what it is you truly want."

I could easily let you take the blame for this but, since I seem to be trying to acknowledge all the damage that I have done and all the stupid choices I've made, I can't.

"I accepted Zork's offer. That had nothing to do with you." I answer as I continue to pace.

I'm not facing you when you sigh. "Sealing your soul into the Ring meant that you remained aware for all these millennia. If I had not interfered, you would have been absorbed by Zork and would not have had to suffer in the way that you have. I did not have the right to do such a thing to you.

Forgive me."

I stop and find you watching me with a steady gaze. "You're in my head so that you can ease your own sense of guilt?" I sputter in astonishment as I waver between furious and satisfaction at your confession.

A pained expression creases your features, but you nod, acknowledging and accepting my assessment.

It takes a moment for my brain to decide how I'm going to respond to this, and when it does I'm seriously tempted to argue with it. But I don't because I suddenly understand something I had not realized was important to me.

I believed no one could understand the hell of living through the millennia trapped as I was; I know Ryou has tried but he can never truly comprehend what I have gone through. But you can, can't you. And where I can escape, you cannot, though I know for a fact you are at peace with that.

"You were awake too." I pronounce; and you simply nod again.

I have to look at you in a new light. I remember what the limbo between hosts was like and I don't think even I can comprehend what you must have gone through as you waited for your precious Pharaoh to be awakened.

And I suppose, looking at it that way, I can forgive you. I don't think even I could come up with a better punishment than what you have chosen for yourself.

But I'm sure as hell not happy about being this magnanimous toward you.

Damn, I'm getting soft in my old age.

"If I decide to give up, will you stop me?" I suddenly ask.

You shake your head and I feel relieved for some reason until you have to go and open your mouth.

"I would not, though it would be a shame if you simply gave up now after all that you've been through." you say. "I've never seen you back away from a challenge such as this before."

You would have to point that out to me; and you still know just where to hit me I see.

"Isn't it your job to make sure I'm punished for breaking into the tombs?" I snap.

The amusement is back and even in your voice as you say, "Well, the punishment for robbing the tombs was death. I believe even Pharaoh would have to agree those terms have been fulfilled." A slight smile appears as you add, "And I did lose the Ring to you; technically you are the guardian of the Royal tombs right now."

"You don't say." I mutter as possibilities suddenly rise before me. Possibilities I never would have considered before you said that. I mull over an idea that has appeared in my head and find it intriguing, though convincing Ryou to let me join his father on a dig in Egypt will not be easy; and I suddenly realize that you've beaten me again.

Looking at you I can see you've also realized that you have won again and I have to gripe. "I really do hate you, Priest."

Laughing, you rise to your feet. "I haven't won until you open your eyes."

"Fine." I snarl, and do just that.

Before I can do more than begin to sit up, I hear Ryou shout, "Bakura!" and am suddenly smothered by my former host's hug.

_Okay Ryou, you know I care for you but if you don't let go of me so I can breathe I'm going to have to hurt you._

As if you can still hear my thoughts, you suddenly let go and grin at me a moment. You then turn to Yugi to say happily, "You're right, it's still there!"

"What's still there?" I snap a bit defensively.

"The link." I hear you say softly from behind me.

Twisting around I find that you are still amused by my predicament and I respond sarcastically, "Well, I'm glad I was able to supply you with some entertainment, Priest."

I catch Pharaoh giving you an odd look as you laugh softly and bow to me. Turning, you nod to Pharaoh and ask, "Do you require anything more from me today, my Pharaoh."

I watch the odd look on Pharaoh become thoughtful before he shakes his head. "No, I think we will be fine now. Thank you for your help, Mahado."

And with that, you are gone and I find I am sorry about that. I meet Pharaoh's gaze and see a moment of regret before the more familiar arrogant confidence returns. I don't say anything about that, though I'm severely tempted to point out to him what he's done to Mahado, just to rub his face in it. However, I suppose I have to start somewhere in mending my ways and I might as well start with you, Pharaoh.

"Thank you." I manage to get out before turning to my now shocked former host, who probably never thought he'd hear those words coming out of my mouth.

Mind you, I never thought I would ever say them and actually mean them either.

_And thank you for believing in me, Ryou._ I say purposely over what I hope is the remains of the link that connected our souls together. I can see from the sudden softening in your expression that you have heard me; and I feel the need to add quickly, _And if you even breath a word of what I just said…_

_You'll tie me up and torture me with more surprising statements like that? _you answer with a grin.

_Shut up, Ryou._

I slip off the bed and find myself a bit unsteady on these new legs of mine; and I don't protest when I feel Ryou pull one arm around his shoulders to help me stand. "Ready to head back to the apartment, Bakura?" my former host asks hopefully.

I give you a glare. "Where else did you expect me to go Ryou, Kaiba's place?"

"Oh, hell no." I hear Kaiba mutter under his breath as he stalks past me, Pharaoh trailing in his wake with an amused look on his face.

As Ryou and Yugi laugh and help guide me out into the sunshine, I surprise myself when I realize I'm glad that I've accepted this stupid challenge of survival once again. Being able to irritate the hell out of Kaiba will certainly make it worthwhile.

And recognizing that I have one more person to thank, and though I know he will not be able to hear it, I say silently, _Thank you for beating me once again, Priest. I think, for once, I didn't mind losing this duel._

_You're welcome, Thief._ I hear you answer clearly in my head, and hear your laughter echoing across my mind.

Oh that's just wonderful. Thanks a lot, Priest.


End file.
